Wild Horses and Why Tequila isn’t alcohol

Whilst walking down the beaches on the pacific coast of Mex, past bars with names such as “coco loco surf bar” and “cosmico surf bar” or “la pearla negra” you notice their big list of offerings. Signs with ‘refrescos, jugos, vino, cerveza, cocteles, licor, y tequila’. Now surely tequila could be thrown into the same category as licor, but apparently not.

There are lots of sayings about tequila, my favourite; “when life throws you lemons, break out the tequila”. The Mexicans have a good one, “for everything bad drink tequila and for everything good too”. Mexicans are proud of their tequila, just like the Guatemalans are proud of their rum. Considering rum was the official currency of Australia perhaps we should be a bit more proud of our rum past, I mean the so called Rum Rebellion that gave the spirit such a bad name wasn’t actually in fact about rum at all. And the last time I was in Queensland the bar actually had a sign saying “no rum served here”. Ha ha, what have we done.

Here beer is kind of considered alcohol, you can have it for breakfast and no-one batters an eye-lid. I myself prefer the freshly made juices of mango and papaya, but they also serve well with a dash or two of tequila inside them when the sun is on its way down the other side. Wine and other spirits are definitely considered alcohol, and the local posh is DEFINITELY considered alcohol. But tequila, well it’s more like a lamington. And forgive me if I am wrong here but if you drink good tequila straight for an evening, you don’t feel hung over the next day. And you might even have ended up buying a block of land in the Chiapas, but that is another story all together.

For proof of the goodness of tequila, on our sleepy little street in the outskirts of San Christobal, so sleepy that wild horses would rule during the night feeding on the front gardens. I was walking home from a friend’s house one evening after a few tequilas and there was a large bunch of beautiful horses in the dirt road. ‘Oh look Simon, ponies everywhere!” I waltzed straight up and attempted to converse with one of them…… she wasn’t having a bar of it, no domestication in that lot! The snarl and teeth showing and fierce look in the eye almost made me shit my pants on the spot in horror and fear. Anyway I digress it was here on this street I met a massage/healer type lady called Carmen. I’ve been known to have three massages a day in Bali so I wasn’t about to say no to an offer for a few. On my second morning there I felt a little dusty from a celebration the night before. My friends had sold thousands of dollars worth of their amber to a cool Japanese guy called Uigi. Considering they live like kings on $300 per month, it was a big cause for a celebration. We drank a whole bottle of tequila the best way, straight of course. The next morning I was at Carmen’s ready for my massage she said “ah, bueno, tequila es bueno para el corazón y el alma” - Tequila is good for your heart and soul. Anyway she seemed happy that I had a good night on the stuff. But the best thing was that at the end of the session she told me to stay away from alcohol. So there you have it, even from a health expert, tequila isn’t considered alcohol, its good for your heart and soul. I love it here.