Arnie's True Lies Burger

1. Name that burger
True Lies Burger

2. Where did you buy it?
I made it in-house

3. What’s on it?
It is a very personal creation – it is pure beefcake served with Austrian cheese, Californian red onion and the lettuce is presented in a buzz-cut Predator style.

4. Nice buns?
Oh yeah I like nice buns. The first time I ate a True Lies burger I cried more than the time Danny Devito told me that Twins was not based on a true story.

5. Would you eat it again?
Can I refer that one to my lawyers?

6. In terms of quality is it more Neil Perry or Pauline Hanson?
Is Neil a brother of Bob Perry, co-writer of Terminator II? I remember speaking to Bob about how he created the new Terminator robot. I still don’t get how such an evil thing could be made from all those tiny thermometers.

7. If you wrote an 80s love ballad for this burger what would it be called? What would the lyrics to the chorus be?
The title would be ‘Terminate your Vas Deferens’. And the chorus would be ‘You used to call me the Governator. But now I’m just the housemaid’s inseminator.’

8. Could you eat it while riding a skateboard? Or is it a more messy sit-down affair? Definitely messy but I normally assumed a standing position. It saved time. Speaking of time, after I shot Kindergarten Cop I really thought I had a chance of getting an Oscar. Did you know I made that 6-year old nerdy kid cry in real life? He wasn't acting.

9. How long did it take you?
This one took about 2 minutes, but that was an off day. Normally my plate is empty in less than a minute.

10. Rate it out of five stars
I don't eat and tell.